Relationship Reflection

The relationships I have in my life are very important to me.  Family has always been an important part of my life.  I was blessed to be born as an identical twin to my sister Nicole Williams.  She was my best friend and confidant.  My relationship with her was a positive and close relationship.  We did everything together.  She was the only person who knew me inside and out.  We could tell each other anything.  Whenever I need to be distracted from life’s challenges she would through visits and late night talks.  Unfortunately my sister passed away expectantly at 30 years old during childbirth.  After her passing I couldn’t help on reflecting on what she meant to me.  I noticed that after her passing I have not been as social with other people and would like to do a better job at this.  It is important to have a relationship with someone you value as a friend.  A friend who will be there for you no matter what.

Thankfully I have my husband and partner who has been a source of constant support.  My relationship with him is valuable.  I am blessed that we have been married for 18 years.  We have grown up together and created a family of our own.  When I met my husband Darryl I enjoyed the fact the he would listen to me.  I felt comforted talking to him about anything.  He also gave me a lot of attention by making sure I remembered that I am important and to take time out for myself.  He still helps me remember this as a busy mom, educator and student.  He loves to see me happy and as his wife I want to do the same for him.  Our relationship is based on communication and remembering to take time for each other and family. 

As I mentioned from my marriage we have two wonderful boys.  They are turning into great young men.  Our oldest is 16 and the youngest is 13.  It is important for me to have a close relationship with my boys.  As they develop into their own they like to do things independently.  Whenever they ask to go somewhere I make time for them.  I enjoy spending quality time with my boys.  They may feel that I am a hovering mother sometimes but I am grateful to be their mom.  The relationship I have with my mom and dad is loving and supportive.  I want my boys to feel the same way about our relationship.  My hope for my boys is that they will also be loving and supportive with their own children.  They are definitely growing up way to fast.  After losing my sister prematurely it made me reflect on how important time is with your family.  I want my boys to know that I truly value our time together.

 

 

In my professional life I value having relationships with my coworkers that are trusting, inspiring, working as a team and providing great communication.  My job keeps me very busy daily.  It is important to be surrounded by people who can support me and others when accomplishing our daily tasks.  We are considered support staff to the director and assistant director.  We have to set an example for the teachers we work with daily.  It is important that teachers feel inspired, supported and that we are working together as a team.  We have to keep the lines of communication open daily to ensure we are all trying to accomplish the same goals of working with children.

When I think of child development

Growing up I have always enjoyed working with children.  I feel that my job is very important in a young child’s life.  Teachers have a profound impact on the lives of children.  I looked for quotes that best stated how I feel about my job as an educator.  I selected two quotes below:

Emma Goldman, author

"No one has yet fully realized the wealth of sympathy, kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure."

"Every child deserves a champion - an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be."

~ Rita F. Pierson

 

Testing for intelligence

When considering the commitment of evaluating the “whole child” to measure their intelligence I think it is important to focus on the child’s social competence.  In today’s society the primary focus on children’s development is in academics to ensure the child’s future success in adulthood.  I feel that it is also important to ensure that a child can function in the world by meeting social competencies.  Understanding a child’s social competency assist with how children relate to their peers, teachers and others especially while in school.  The focus can also assist with observing how children are treated by others.  “Unless children achieve minimal social competence by about the age of 6 years, they have a probability of being at risk into adulthood in several ways” (McClellan & Katz, 2001, para.).                                                        

I believe it is important to continue to support children by looking at how social competencies can be strengthened throughout childhood in areas such as academics, how a child adapts to emotional situations, and the level of a child’s cognitive development.  It is important to also look at how children get along with their peers.  In today’s news there is discussion on children suffering from depression leading to suicide.  Children are experiencing stressors from how others treat them or make them feel.  It is important to look at these relationships with peers to minimize risks of suicide.  Children may also experience risks that include not finishing school, poor mental health, difficulties in school and issues with employment (McClellan & Katz, 2001).   Utilizing teachers to perform assessments that focus on social competencies can provide much needed insight on children’s social and emotional development.  This can serve as a form of early intervention to support the child into adulthood. 

In Australia the use of a curriculum allows students to develop their social and personal ability in in order to develop the sense of self, manage relationships with peers and others.  Australia recognizes that when children have a strong social and emotional development they are motivated to learn at a higher level.  Teachers are encouraged to use personal and social capability continuum of learning to help students with needs that are set per each individual student (Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority, 2013).                                           

 As educator I feel that it is important to continue to support children in their social and emotional development.  Throughout childhood children will continue to face challenges of fitting in with their peers, adapting to emotional situations, and academics.  It is important to be able to identify when a child needs support with handling these challenges using the social competency assessment.  With the support provided by this assessment, my hope is to decrease bullying, suicides, and other challenges with students in the classroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Consequences of Stress on Children's Development

 

Growing up I had a childhood with both parents in the household with my two sisters.  I am the oldest twin of my sister Nicole and our younger sister Rosalind.  I didn’t feel like I had any major stressors in my childhood.  My father was in the Marines and we moved around frequently.  Others may find this pretty chaotic, however, I enjoyed moving and meeting new people.  Out of all of the listed stressors for this assignment I chose chaos.  This stressor was felt in my adulthood with the stress of losing my twin sister in childbirth.  My immediate thought was about what life would be like for the three young girls she left behind ages 5, 8 and an infant.                                       

When my sister passed life changed as we knew it.  Changes were rapid and chaotic.  My sister’s husband made the move to be by my sister’s side of the family.  We pitched in to help him raise his three girls.  It was hard on all of us to adjust to the changes.  When I took the three girls and my two boys out for an outings people would assume all 5 children belonged to me.  This was especially difficult on the girls because they looked like me due to the fact of their mother was my identical twin.  The girls often yearned to call me their mother because they did not have one.  I would share things that their mother and I would do and reminded them that I would never take the place of their mother but would support them in ways their mother would.                      

My heart broke for the youngest baby because she would never know her mother.  She was forced to rely on what we shared with her about her mother.  When she was in pre-k I came to the school to pick her up and a girl asked her if I was her mother.  My niece said “no, that’s my aunt, my mom died having me.  My mom and auntie were twins.”   My heart sank.  I quickly responded to my niece and the other child by saying “yes we are twins that is why my niece looks like me.”  I couldn’t help but wonder if my niece felt that she caused her mother’s death.  As a family we have tried to reassure her that she was not the cause of her mother’s death and that God needed her to be with him.  Just recently, we were at the park.  My niece is now 9 years old.  She asked me, “auntie, why does my mommy have to be in heaven looking down on me?  Why can’t’ she be her with me now?”  I didn’t know how to answer her other than to say “she is an angel in heaven helping God.”  I told her she was a special gift from God.                          

Ensuring that my niece’s childhood continues to be one where they feel supported and love is what I feel their mother would love.  The girls do not live with me and my family but we still get to have our visits.  I am thankful for the times we get to share to remind them of memories of their mother.  Losing a parent is a challenge and stress on children of any age.  Life is not promised daily.  This event has cause our family to take one day and moment at a time.  We cherish every moment together.  My goal is to be there for the girls as much as I can to provide them with any ongoing assurances needed through their childhood. 

In South Asia children experience stressors also.  One source of stress for children is their academic performance requirements by their parents.  Children are expected to receive grades no less than a B plus.  Often the parent’s main focus is on what mistakes have occurred with the child.  Children are expected to be successful in school to ensure success as adults.  To minimize this stress parents are encouraged to talk to others if they recognize stress in their child or children.  Parents are also encouraged to listen to their children and allow them to play and be children.  Parents need to value and enjoy the time they have with their children ("Stress Facts For South Asian Children And Teens", 2011).

I feel that it is important for American and South Asian parents to observe children and have open discussions with children in order to minimize stress.  I worry for my nieces about feeling sad that they do not have their mother in their lives anymore.  This causes my family to play an active role in their emotional development by having honest conversations about how they are feeling. This will continue to be an ongoing process throughout their development. 

 

 

Child Development and Public Health

The public health topic I chose is breastfeeding.  I chose this topic because I breastfed both of my boys.  It was important to me to provide the best nutrients for them, especially because they were premature.  Breastfeeding was not an easy task.  I remember being very stressed to be successful in the beginning.  My first born had a hard time latching on because he was not breastfed right after birth due to my C-section.  This caused my son to be “nipple confused”.  The hospital gave me literature on the importance of breastfeeding my son, especially the colostrum milk.  I learned to speak with a lactation specialist to get strategies to help me be successful in my quest to breastfeed.  I found a technique that worked for me independently and continued to be successful with my second son.  I was able to breastfeed my oldest son for nine months.  My second son didn’t last as long.  He nursed for six months.                                      

 I looked up how other countries viewed breastfeeding.  In Cuba babies less than six months old are breastfed.  Upon leaving the hospital 98% of newborns are breastfed.  This percentage is due to the efforts of health professionals sharing awareness and the importance of breastfeeding ("More Infants Exclusively Breastfed In Cuba", 2013).  In Cuba they have world breastfeeding week.  It is the week of August first through seventh.  Cuba emphasizes the importance and values of breastfeeding infants for the first six months and then supplement for one year and up to two ("Cuba Marks 20th World Breastfeeding Week", 2012).                                           

The information I learned from having my two boys as well as from Cuba has encouraged me to ensure that my child care center has pamphlets on the importance of breastfeeding.  I also will continue to share my experiences with parents and friends that ask about breastfeeding.  I would recommend breastfeeding to everyone.  I would say the mother that is not able to breastfeed to not get discouraged.  Strides have been made to improve formula.  I also would refer the new mom to work with a lactation specialist.  Breastfeeding really helped my boys to grown into the young men they are today.  My youngest only weighted four pounds, however, looking at him know you would have no idea.

 

 

Reference

Cuba marks 20th world breastfeeding week. (2012). Retrieved from http://english.juventudrebelde.cu/cuba/2012-08-07/cuba-marks-20th-world-breastfeeding-week

More infants exclusively breastfed in Cuba. (2013). Retrieved from http://victoriafriendsofcuba.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/more-infants-exclusively-breastfed-in-cuba/

 

 

Births in another country

When I compare my birthing experience with what Germany provides there are some similarities.  I received a pamphlet on what to expect while I was pregnant similar to mutterpass.  However, I did not receive any holistic medicine.  I was considered high risk and had to see a doctor.  I received a wealth of information from my doctor and the facility.  Information was readily available to patients daily.  I was surprised that pregnant women in Germany only receive 12 visits.  I remember my appointments were monthly then every two weeks.  Towards the end of my pregnancy I began to go to my doctor every week.  After the C-section I stayed in the hospital for 48 hours.  My son and I were discharged the following morning.  In the U.S. women typically go home after the first day of a natural delivery.  I was surprised at how long women and their babies get to stay in the hospital after natural or C-section delivery.  

I chose to share the experience of having my first son because I had in my mind that I would have a typical delivery.  As I found out it was not typical at all.  When I reflected on my experience I was happy that I had a son but yearned to have a vaginal birth someday.  I wanted to experience a vaginal birth.  I was also curious to see how women experienced deliveries is other countries.  I was surprised that Germany had a lot of similarities.   I wish that I would have been more open minded to alternative experiences when I had my first son.  Thankfully I knew to arrive at the hospital open to whatever came my way with my second delivery.   

Personal Birthing Experience

                My personal birth experience began on November 19, 1997.  My doctor was inducing my labor due to complications of high blood pressure.  I had developed preeclampsia.  I was given Cervidil at night and my doctor said it would take awhile because this was my first child.  My husband went home to sleep.  I woke up hours later feeling contractions and told my husband to come back to the hospital.  When he arrived y contractions were getting stronger.  I remember the doctor coming in to check me and saying “stop, don’t try to push, we need to do an emergency C-section, your placenta is separating.”  Everything happened so fast.  I was rushed in to the operating room and given medicine to go to sleep.  When I woke up in the recovery room I asked my husband did I have the baby and where was he.  My husband told me that I had the baby and that he was in the nursery doing just fine.  When the nurse brought my son to me I was so happy to hold him for the first time.  I asked my husband what had happened and he told me that my placenta had separated.  He also told me that the doctor said we both could have died.  It was then that I realized the magnitude of what had happened.  I felt very blessed that we both were alive and well.  When I reflect back on my pregnancy I could not help but feel robbed of the natural childbirth experience.  Even though I was asleep through the delivery I was thankful for the experiences I had with the birth of my first son.