Evaluating myself as a communicator

When I compared the similarities and differences between how I evaluated myself as a communicator and how others evaluated me I saw more similarities than differences.  The only thing that really surprised me was that I evaluated myself as significant in verbal aggressiveness.  When reading the results I do not think that I attack a person’s position or make attacks to make someone feel hurtful. (Rubin, Palmgreen & Sypher, 2009).   

I really enjoyed seeing how I am viewed by others as a communicator.  I was glad to see for the most part that I present myself the way I want to be seen by others.  Learning about myself as a communicator is very helpful in my position as a trainer.  I have to communicate with individuals on a daily basis and often wonder how they will receive the information.  I am happy to know that others believe that I am a person who care about others.  This is true to who I am as an individual which carries into my personal life.  In my personal life it is helpful to ensure that I think about others in order to make and keep friends based on how I communicate with them.

 

Reference:

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Different communications in groups and cultures

Growing up in a military family afforded me the opportunity to experience different groups of people and cultures.  When I am around different groups I realize that I start to adopt certain words and gestures.  For example when I lived in Maryland I used to have my peers say that I was a “valley girl.”  I didn’t realize what this meant until I watched a show that had girls saying certain words such as “like, and really” and the gestures that I used frequently.  I learned these words and gestures when I lived in Washington State.  I quickly realized when I moved to Maryland that everyone did not speak the same way.  It is amazing how individuals are quick to judge someone because they do not seem to display languages or gestures of ones identified culture.    

When I entered college I moved to North Carolina to attend school.  When I went home to visit my friends and family they told me that I did not sound the same.  I had a “Southern accent.”  I didn’t realize that when I talked to people I always said “y’all.”  While in college with my peers I communicated using similar words and gestures that were a more relaxed form of communication including slang.  While in college, I could identify with the group of twenty somethings.  This changed however, when I entered the working community.  I was more aware of how I needed to communicate while in the workplace.  I knew that I had to use formal communication that showed professionalism in the workplace especially with colleagues that I supervised, trained or mentored.  When I am among professionals who are at the same level as myself I can use communication that is less formal   

As I continue to grow older I realize that I know when to switch the way I communicate on and off depending on who is in my company.  Going forward in order to ensure that I am able to use effective communication with others it is important to gain understanding by learning about the group or individual.  For example, when I worked in a school that had children and families who spoke Spanish I tried to learn the language and about the culture in order to gain understanding of the children and families and develop a working relationship.  It is important to remember to not “judge a book by its cover.”  I try to use this in my everyday life when I work and communicate with individuals from a different culture.

Messages communicated while viewing the show Cristela

I chose to watch the show called Cristela.  I had never seen this show before but I was curious to see what it was about.  My first assumption at the beginning with no sound was that I noticed that the storyline included a mother/grandmother, one single female, a married or dating female and two children.  I assumed that one female was a couple with the man because he kissed her on the cheek.  The man also greeted the older woman that I assumed was the mother-in law or grandmother.  The man’s body language showed that he did not get along with the lead character who was single.  He did not greet her and turned away and frowned his face and shrugged his shoulders.  The single female had a man who I assumed was interested in her by the body language.  He tried to lean in towards her to greet her. The single female lead away and frowned up her face.  She made gestures with her hand point to the male while she frowned.   The setting also showed the single female in an office where she seemed to know the individuals in the office.  She smiled at the man sitting at the table with her and they both made eye contact and continued to laugh and smile.  When she went into the office she was talking to an older man who seemed to be her boss.  She smiled at him and reached out like she was going to hug him.  He also smiled back at her. I thought that he was her boss because of her body language.  She sat straight up in the chair with her hands in front of her folded together.  The plot seemed to suggest that it was a single women who stayed with lived with friends and or family and worked in an office where she had some friends.

When I added sound my assumptions of her living with friends or family was close.  The lead character was the sister of the other female who was married with two children.   The two sisters live in the house with their mother.  The husband of the lead character’s sister does not like her because she lives with them.  He wants her to get a real job and move out.  I assumed that the lead character already had a job and was going to work.  The lead character was actually at an interview for an internship.  She did not know the people in the office. The lead character was cracking jokes with her potential boss as he did with her also.  She reached out for a hug welcoming a friend of her potential boss after she had mistakenly insulted him. 

I do believe that more of my assumptions would have been correct if I had been watching a show that I knew.  However, I feel that I was able to identify some information about the characters based on their interactions with one another.  The characters used a lot of nonverbal communication such as hand gestures and facial expressions.  Adding the sound helped me learn the specifics about relationships and what the characters were doing.  I really enjoyed viewing the show with and without sound to understand the importance of communication whether it is verbal or nonverbal.  My “aha” moment was really watching their body language and gestures communicating language.  In the beginning I was watching their lips and was trying to figure out what they were saying.  Once I just watched what they were doing I realized that I was still learning about the characters.

A person who demonstrates competent communication

The person that came to mind as a competent communicator is my father.  My father has always been big on communication.  He used communication when he served in the US marines and fellow service members.  When my sisters and I would communicate with my father he was big on everyone making eye contact to ensure we were listening.  My dad was good at listening to what we had to say whenever we came to talk to him.  My dad also provided great advice on how to handle challenges that involved communicating with others. 

As I entered adulthood and discussed with my father some challenges I faced as an administrator and teacher working in early childhood he would stress the saying “always remember, silence is consent.”  This stuck with me when I discussed challenges while working with a person who was not pulling their weight.  According to O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin and Teven (2015) “In communication, an outcome has to do with the product of an interchange” (p. 13).   I was stressing myself out to do the job of two people.  When my dad said “silence is consent” it made me realize that I had communicated that it was ok for me to do all the work.    In my current position as a trainer I have the opportunity to communicate with teachers, children, families, admin and other support staff members.  I follow what I learned growing up about making good eye contact, listening to others and ensuring I communicate at all times instead of remaining quiet whenever there is a challenge.   

 

 

 

Reference

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's